Nightclub etiquette
I remember my first time in a nightclub. My uncle took me. I was underage, but my uncle was resourceful. Everyone should have an uncle like him. This was when I was about 14 or 15. And ever since that time I’ve noticed the strange and inane behaviour that people resort to in the futile attempt of looking cool.
Following is a tips, by me, on dance floor etiquette.
1. Overdressing.
This common problem is seen in the newbie men & women club goers who don’t know what to expect in a club. A man can never be so overdressed that u will stare. But take any woman with a long frilly gown in a night club and you’re gonna go “what the fuck”
2. Bare foot dancing.
This one completely and utterly turns me off. Its cool when a woman comes into a club with nice stilettos, her calves lookin all sexy and all. And then they come on the dance floor bare feet. Firstly, besides the fact that it’s a turnoff, chances are theres pieces of glass on the floor. Cigarette butts. And more than always someones already puked in that spot…
3. wannabe Smoking.
Some of you may think that smoking is cool in a night club. I think its cool too. But its not cool if you DON’T KNOW HOW TO SMOKE. Its is very funny and hilarious to see people try to smoke when they cant even hold a cigarette between their fingers. There are also people who one up themselves by smoking cigars.
4. Performance art
The reason I call this performance art is that ive seen some people who try to infuse other music into basic club music. I once seen this one chick who was doin a bharatnatium/techno move whole dancing to belissima. You will not even begin to imagine how stupid it looked.
5. Djs are not gods!
DJs are cool people. (some of them). But the ones that are not, are the dicks who think they are the paul van dykes of the world. Im sure paul van dyke will be a down to earth bloke. That’s why its huge. And even if he gives attitude, its justified. Cause hes the no.1 DJ on the planet. THE OTHERS ARE NOT. So if DJ tells you “oh I djed here, I Djed there” just tell him to shut the fuck up.
6. Screaming is not cool (unless you are flashing your tits)
Many a times im standing in a club and this woman will go “yyyyyyyeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh” just to attract attention ofcourse. Just to show that shes having a good time. God, you don’t have to scream it. But if you are flashing your tits while screaming, the scream is excused.
7. Drunken behaviour
This is allowed to a certain extent as long as you are not bothering anyone. And chicks please, if you are gonna get drunk and fall all over the place, please wear some short skirts. Theres noting funnier than a drunk woman showing her twat. And to the drunken men behaving stupid… you are not as intelligent as you sound!
8. Flirting
This one is really important for the chicks to read. If you are gonna flirt with someone in a club. Get ready to be approached by that person… you forget that alchohol leads to unsurpassed amounts of confidence and that every stupid idea is a good one.
Following is a tips, by me, on dance floor etiquette.
1. Overdressing.
This common problem is seen in the newbie men & women club goers who don’t know what to expect in a club. A man can never be so overdressed that u will stare. But take any woman with a long frilly gown in a night club and you’re gonna go “what the fuck”
2. Bare foot dancing.
This one completely and utterly turns me off. Its cool when a woman comes into a club with nice stilettos, her calves lookin all sexy and all. And then they come on the dance floor bare feet. Firstly, besides the fact that it’s a turnoff, chances are theres pieces of glass on the floor. Cigarette butts. And more than always someones already puked in that spot…
3. wannabe Smoking.
Some of you may think that smoking is cool in a night club. I think its cool too. But its not cool if you DON’T KNOW HOW TO SMOKE. Its is very funny and hilarious to see people try to smoke when they cant even hold a cigarette between their fingers. There are also people who one up themselves by smoking cigars.
4. Performance art
The reason I call this performance art is that ive seen some people who try to infuse other music into basic club music. I once seen this one chick who was doin a bharatnatium/techno move whole dancing to belissima. You will not even begin to imagine how stupid it looked.
5. Djs are not gods!
DJs are cool people. (some of them). But the ones that are not, are the dicks who think they are the paul van dykes of the world. Im sure paul van dyke will be a down to earth bloke. That’s why its huge. And even if he gives attitude, its justified. Cause hes the no.1 DJ on the planet. THE OTHERS ARE NOT. So if DJ tells you “oh I djed here, I Djed there” just tell him to shut the fuck up.
6. Screaming is not cool (unless you are flashing your tits)
Many a times im standing in a club and this woman will go “yyyyyyyeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh” just to attract attention ofcourse. Just to show that shes having a good time. God, you don’t have to scream it. But if you are flashing your tits while screaming, the scream is excused.
7. Drunken behaviour
This is allowed to a certain extent as long as you are not bothering anyone. And chicks please, if you are gonna get drunk and fall all over the place, please wear some short skirts. Theres noting funnier than a drunk woman showing her twat. And to the drunken men behaving stupid… you are not as intelligent as you sound!
8. Flirting
This one is really important for the chicks to read. If you are gonna flirt with someone in a club. Get ready to be approached by that person… you forget that alchohol leads to unsurpassed amounts of confidence and that every stupid idea is a good one.
posted by Arroclint at 4:37 PM
7 comments:
i agree with u completely on point 8...and yeah point 6....yeah...that'll be fun...
Okay, good one. Now all that remains is to frame it and hang it outside all clubs in Doha :D
I have never seen No 2 tho in the past, my friends would exchange shoes to go dance!
No 6 really annoys me! Especially in gay clubs where the men have super shrill voices....
OMG Clint.. you're such an MCP! Pls read the post again and you'll see most of your points are directed towards women. (Not happy with your performance)
Alice: yeah point 6... wooo whooo..
casablanca. gonna make a big print out of it...
AJ: i aggree with you. a gay guy screamin is much worse than a woman screeming
cowlick: you are completely right... i actually started writing this post with bashing women club goers. but got some male crap in too. just so that it didnt seem that sexist. but this post is directed to the idiot women at clubs and not all women!!!
don't know much abt clubs
You forgot to mention one very important point no. 9 that goes hand in hand with nightclubs: people outside the club vomitting on their shoes, or other people's shoes!
There's always one!
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